Please enjoy the guest post below written by my dear friend, Eshley Spitzer.
“For Jewish people, the high-holidays serve as an opportunity for reflection and introspection, as we examine the people we were in the last year, and focus on the change we would like to see in the next.
This year, I took the intention to recognize my mistakes, think of ways to improve, and ask for forgiveness. I took the opportunity to think of those I wanted to apologize to; those that I have hurt in moments of weakness and regret.
As I was thinking of those deserving of a genuine apology, I asked myself—who have I hurt or brought down this year? The one answer that kept flashing through my mind…was me. My negative self-talk continues to bring me down most, and ultimately influence my mood and the way I treat others.
I took a minute to think about all of the harsh, critical, undeserving judgments I pass against myself in one day alone. How often my own thoughts tell me that I’m not good enough, or that I’m a disappointment. How quickly I judge my looks, my worth and my ability so despairingly when I could actually use some realistic, positive encouragement…
I would never talk to a friend like that. In fact, I would never even let a STRANGER be spoken to that way. So why is it that I can say these things to myself? I decided that it’s important to start practicing what I preach, and to never let that voice get any louder.
In this coming year, I hope to catch my judgments before I continue to bring myself down. I want to find a way to challenge these thoughts the way I would for a friend.
Take a few minutes to just notice the judgments—good or bad—that you have about yourself as you are going through the day. Notice how some of these judgments you pass are so routine, that if you hadn’t taken the time to notice, you wouldn’t even realize their impact. Should anyone deserving of love and respect be talked to that way?
Let us start channeling the strength to start speaking to ourselves with compassion and care in the new year, just as we would a friend. L’shana Tova (~Sweet new year!).”
Saralee says
You are very wise, Eshley. It is true beyond words that self loathing is destructive in ways we don’t even realize. It’s also a constant. I admire your commitment to not let that sort of negativity influence you. Positive thinking begets more positive thinking. Onward!
ESHLEY says
🙂
Quite the compliment coming from you! Thank you!!