I don’t even want to acknowledge how long it has been since I’ve written a blog post! Sadly, I haven’t written much because 2018 has been a pretty intense year for me.
Without harping on it, I’ve endured five months of physical withdrawal after tapering off of an anxiety medication (Lexapro). Not only have I been in so much pain and discomfort, but the bloat combined with how difficult it has been to workout has completely exacerbated my body image issues. And to make matters so much worse, after two very long business trips, I rushed home for the shocking and tragic funeral of my sister-in-law’s mom, Jill. My heart is aching so heavily for my sister-in-law, Rachel, but I know it’s only a fraction of what she and my brother are going through.
So, yea, this year has been TOUGH. And while I recognize how much I still have to be grateful for, the day-to-day has been tense. And that’s why I want to share something that has been incredibly helpful for me during this chaotic time.
Enter Stich Fix.
If you’re not familiar with Stitch Fix, it’s an online subscription and personal shopping service. Even though I’ve known about it for years, I never really considered trying it until I listened to my favorite podcast, How I Built This. I heard the incredible story of how Katrina Lake founded the company and I felt the urge to give it a shot. Especially because my relationship with clothes has been extremely turbulent this year.
Since choosing recovery from an eating disorder, my size has fluctuated often. And just when I thought my body was done changing, the Lexapro withdrawal snuck up on me and caused so much bloat and inflammation that none of my clothes fit me. Triggering, much? The hardest part about not having clothes that fit is that you have to get dressed every single day. The second hardest thing is that shopping for new clothes (and in new sizes and in front of harsh/ horrible lighting) is that crying and meltdowns are often involved.
👉 While we’re on the subject, can someone please get my husband a trophy? He has calmed me down from more meltdowns in our first year of marriage than I think either of us expected. 👈
Anyway, it had been SO hard to feel my best when I couldn’t seem to find anything that fit me properly or looked nice. I actively strive to be more of a minimalist, and all I wanted was a few staple items that made me feel special and that I could re-wear a 100 different ways. My gym clothes simply weren’t going to cut it for every occasion.
When I first filled out my Stich Fix survey, I poured my heart out into it. “PLEASE just help me find items that fit me nicely and make me feel trendy,” I begged. I told them I hate preppy and I love rocker chick and sometimes I can be boho. I told them that I dress casually 90% of the time. I hoped they’d get my style and size right on the first try, but I highly doubted it.
And then my first box arrived!
I have to admit, not everything was exactly my style but I kept every single item. Why? 1. Because everything fits me SO nicely. How the hell did they do that?! I was blown away. They’ve never even met me. And 2. Because you get 20% off for keeping every item. Even though I wouldn’t have picked out the items for myself, I kept them because they were so effortless, comfortable and versatile.
My first box had a beautiful, navy blue off-the-shoulder blouse that I will probably wear a million times. It also came with a moto leather jacket and distressed hemmed jeans that I’ve already worn a million times.
It’s hard to tell, but under the moto jacket I’m wearing this awesomely funky cutout turtleneck (pictured above) that also came in my first box.
After I tried everything on, I went back to Stich Fix’s website and changed my subscription to occur every month as opposed to once a season.
This month’s box was great, too! I just opened it early this week and I’ve already worn two items.
Thanks to my neighbor and best friend, Audrey, for taking these pictures of me today! I realized that everything I was wearing (aside from my shoes) was from Stitch Fix so I needed a picture.
The truth is that I’m still getting used to my new size. My body might change again and it might not, but I actively remind myself that weight loss (or weight gain) is not the cure for bad body image. I remind myself that losing weight does not make you a better person, and gaining weight does not make you a worse person. I remind myself that I see myself differently than the world sees me, and that I still have thin privilege even if I struggle with my new size. Most of all, I remind myself that the mind is a terrible thing to waste, and the waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Thank you, Stitch Fix, for being so good at what you do. You removed one burden from my list and I’m grateful that I no longer have to struggle to find things to wear. You made it easy for me to try on beautiful new things, all within the comfort of my home and without any tears. To be honest, I can’t put a price on that.