I’m bigger than I once was. I take up more space than I’m used to and I don’t know how much #Iweigh, but I bet I do more than I probably ever have. There are days when these thoughts weigh me down more than the extra pounds themselves, but the thing is, I don’t want my old life back. The thought of that life gives me a visceral reaction.
There isn’t enough money in the world to make me go back to Weight Watcher meetings every Saturday. There isn’t enough money in the world to make me want to diet again in any way. For the last two years, I’ve been able to go out to eat and truly enjoy. I’ve been relaxed (most of the time) around food and it feels so good to be a person who doesn’t obsess and have food rules and make eating so much more complicated than it needs to be. •
A lot of people will argue that weight gain is unhealthy, and there are a lot of reasons I want to dismantle that belief. I don’t believe someone else’s health is anyone’s business or determines their moral value. I don’t believe that weight determines your health. But if you must know, I’m actually physically and mentally HEALTHIER than I was when I was dieting and smaller— and for a number of reasons. But even if I weren’t, I don’t think I’d choose to go back to that life anyway. •
So, if gaining weight in a society that condemns it is the price I pay in order to live a full, meaningful life, I will choose it every single time. Every day, I take in messages that tell me I’ve made the wrong choice, and every day I remind myself that choosing joy, recovery, fullness, sweetness and peace will never be the wrong choice